Tag Archives: N’s

One Year Later – Thank you Lord!

9 May

Last year, on May 8th, I had a double mastectomy.  Last night, I read through a bunch of the posts from that time.  It is so amazing how much my mind has forgotten.  I’m so thankful that I can’t remember the pain that I was in or the nights of sleep that I went without.  The morning of the mastectomy I was all prepared to see what God had planned for me, but I remember once I was at the hospital I started to get scared.  I had to keep stopping to pray for strength and you know what?  God provided it.  I went through one of the most painful things that day too.  I had to get a shot put into both of my N’s.  It WAS HORRIBLE.  I cried.  The sweet nurse held my hand and God got me through it.  That pain was just the beginning of what God was going to show me over and over throughout the journey.  That He would be WITH me.

When I woke up from surgery I couldn’t really see myself, but I imagined I looked pretty bad.  I was a little horrified by the cute intern that stopped by to check on my post-surgery body, but it is a pretty funny story to remember now.  Then, on day 3 when I finally saw myself….I remember MANY weeks of Kevan trying to encourage me and tell me that this was just the transition.  That things would look better one day.  I had my doubts.  I cried so many times.  I had to pray a lot for strength.  I prayed that Kevan would still love me even if I was deformed or always looked like Frankenstein.  My N’s turned black, but you all prayed for me and GOD ANSWERED! He healed them and they work perfectly today.  🙂  Praise the Lord.

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Time Was Too Short and My N’s

19 May
I haven’t spoken much about my parent’s visit so I want to do a special post just so they know how much I appreciated them coming to be with me.  I don’t know how Kevan and I could’ve managed without them.  It was so nice to have them here.  I do not get to see them very often (once or twice a year) because they live in Michigan.  So, to have almost 3 full weeks with them, even under the circumstances, was a special time.  They left a few hours ago and I miss them already.  Please Lord, help them to make it home speedily and safely.  Please bless them for being so willing to come help me.

 

My mom helped me with laundry, meals, cleaning, getting dressed…you name it.  She was the best at laying my pillows out on the couch “just right” so that when I laid down to rest it wouldn’t hurt at all.  Mom’s always know best.  I know it was hard on her to have to work, clean the house, make the meals and help me get around and I am grateful to her.  I love you Mama.  Thank you for always being there when I need you.  I loved getting our pedicure together and the couple times we laid on our sleep number bed with the massager running just to relax together.

 

My dad was just as sweet.  If I called him for help he would come immediately.  He swept our porch for me, fed my kitties and even emptied the dishwasher several times.  He was the one to make the runs to the store for prescriptions, ice, food, etc.  He was always willing to help do something.  Thank you Dad and thank you for my little pink kitty you bought me.  I will always love it so much because it came from you.

 

They went all the way to Nashville with me to my appointments and even to my breast cancer class so they understood what was going to happen after surgery.  I could tell they were worried for me and they hated to see me in pain.  All parents do.  I hated to see them so worried.

 

I’m going to miss them.  One of my favorite things was having them at church with me and for them to meet our friends.  It was such a special time.  I’m sad we didn’t get to play Euchre.  I love it so much, but I just didn’t have the strength this time.  Oh….Mom….Dad…..?  You forgot something.  Weren’t you going to take Bob home with you?  lol!  He sure is going to miss his buddies that sit outside with him and love on him.  I’m sure he would’ve been a good riding companion on your way home.  ;o)  He would catch your mice and chipmunks for you instead of leaving them on the porch for me.

 

I love you both and thanks again for helping me.  Wish you could’ve stayed a little longer.  Hopefully, I will get to come home for a few days this summer and visit.

 

Also, I have a happy update about my “N’s”:

 

Had some changes with my N’s since my post the other day.  The coloring had changed almost overnight and also had some bleeding.  I had to send pictures to my doctor (I know…..crazy!) since she is on bed rest.  She said, “Your N’s are alive!”  Bleeding was a good thing.  So, another praise that my N’s are looking good.  LOL!!!   I know it is because of everyone’s prayers!  Thank you all so much.

Drains, Expanders and the "N" Word

16 May

Today started out as a really good day.  Kevan helped me get ready so we could head to Nashville for my first post-op visit with the plastic surgeon.  It is amazing how long it takes to get me ready.  The shower alone took us almost an hour because we have to work around the drains and I can’t wash my own hair.  Kevan does a great job though.  I am so blessed to have him.  I went almost 6.5 hours without having to take a pain pill.  It felt great to not be dizzy, to feel normal, but to also not be in pain.


The good news is that I had 2 of my drains removed!  Praise God!  I only have 2 left.  I have to say that this was VERY weird and a little painful when she removed them.  I can’t wait to have the other two out, but at the same time I’m not looking forward to the way it is done.  Kevan held my hand and they really are removed in about 20 seconds, but it is something I hope I will never have to experience again once I’m done with the remaining two.

Each week I will go into the plastic surgeon and she will add saline to each tissue expander until we reach the desired size.  Think Reese Witherspoon….NOT Pamela Anderson!  There is a little magnetic area in the expander that helps her find the area where she needs to insert the needle and inject the saline.  It is all a pretty cool invention for women like me who have to have a mastectomy but still want to look normal. Although, the explander is really uncomfortable and un-natural looking.  Unfortunately, today, she said I was healing well, but not healed enough to have my first “fill”.  I was disappointed that she didn’t do a fill, but I don’t want to rush it if she doesn’t feel I’m ready yet.  

Now, there are two areas that are a little concerning that I need prayer specifically for.  I feel guilty asking for prayer since I know so many are already praying for me and there is no way I can make up for all the prayers that have already been prayed over me and here I am asking for more prayers.  First, my nipple.  Yes, I said the “N” word.  When I had my mastectomy last week I was a candidate for a skin and “nipple-sparing” mastectomy…this means I get to keep my own nipples and will not have to have them made surgically.  One of them is looking really good.  The other one does not have good color.  I think my grandma in heaven cannot believe I am talking about nipples right now, but God asks us to pray about all things.  So, please pray for this nipple to start responding well, receive the blood flow that it needs and that the color will start looking better.  PLEASE!!!  I know God can do a miracle and I could wake up tomorrow and it be just the way it needs to be.

Second, there is a place on my left breast where my skin is very thin.  The expander, since it isn’t full yet, is “rippling” and causing a place to form that could have potential to be worse.  Please pray that the skin here will start to thicken and/or the expander would stop pressing so much in this area.  We have to continue to watch this area to make sure it doesn’t get worse.

Lastly, due to all of the antibiotics I’m taking, I’ve developed thrush.  The doctor has given me a pill and a rinse that should help it go away.  It doesn’t hurt very much unless I drink something too cold or if I brush my teeth.  

Jeremiah 17:14 – Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved,  for you are the one I praise.