Adoption Feedback Errors

11 Mar

Before we decided to go forward with Malachi’s adoption we spoke to several parents of China adoptees. Some had very negative things to say and we almost let it sway our decisions, but we could tell when speaking to them that they just had a negative personality. We prayed a lot and asked God for wisdom and the positive feedback from other adoptive parents outweighed the few negative folks and we also felt like God wanted us to be his parents.

Here are some of the negatives and how it has panned out so far:

  • He won’t be able to eat with a fork. Orphanage kids only eat with their hands. Result: Malachi eats with utensils and chopsticks better than most adults. He doesn’t like messes either. He wants me to wipe his face, the table when it has crumbs or his pants if he misses his mouth. Unfortunately they don’t give out napkins here in China though so we have to remember to bring them with us.
  • He only eats food at room temperature so he won’t like hot soup or ice cream. Result: He loves hot soup and ice cream.
  • He won’t know how to brush his teeth and probably never has. Result: as soon as we handed him his toothbrush he knew exactly what to do. He did think it was funny for all of us to brush our teeth together. Also, it is a battery operated toothbrush and he loves it. He’s actually excited to brush his teeth. Happiest kid in the world.
  • He will probably be scared of water since he’s never had a bath. Result: the highlight of this kids day is bath time. He loves it. Now, he does not like the sound of the drain. It does scare him but I just wait and do the drain once he’s out.
  • He will probably still be in diapers. Result: unfortunately this one is more true. He does know how to use the toilet but he does not let you know when he needs to go. You have to take him every hour and a lot of times you don’t get the timing right. We’ve been using pull ups during the day and night. We’ve had many blow outs. Many change of clothes due to accidents. 😞 Today, we put him on the toilet and he peed and got down. We washed his hands and put on a clean diaper. By the time we walked to the living room his diaper was dirty! Like not even a full minute. 😱
  • China is no fun. It is a hassle and everyone is rude. Result: we’ve had a lot of fun here. Most people have been really nice. There were a few times we saw loud yelling at stores but no one has been particularly rude to us. Most people are helpful. Now, the Chinese do not honor personal space. They will cut in front of you or knock you when walking by but I don’t think they perceive this as rude like we would in the US. The only rough part has been finding good food and trying to understand the menus. Today I ordered chicken fried rice and got fried chicken with white rice on the side. Lol

Take what some people say with a grain of salt. Now, he did spend 6 years of his life in an orphanage but they took great care of him. I’m very thankful for all they’ve done for him. I’m sure he will have some delays and emotions from being there so long but God will help us along the way.

2 Responses to “Adoption Feedback Errors”

  1. Alice March 11, 2018 at 1:31 pm #

    I have enjoyed this journey that you shared with us it so so nice that you let us. I’m glad you are comming home early for him . I’m sure the next step it also be hard with him having to go Thur surgery. Praying for a safe and peaceful trip home .

  2. Cira Abreu March 11, 2018 at 9:48 pm #

    So cute. I’m happy for all of you!

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