Trusting God

26 Nov

I am very happy to post that I recently had my 5 year cancerversary.  Praise God that he chose me to live through the journey and for some reason is choosing to bless me even more.  When I look at the last 5 years I’m in awe. I can’t answer why he takes some and ends their journey here on earth but he has healed me and blessed me.  I can only be grateful for his abundant grace on my life.  

Almost 2 years ago he answered the many many prayers for the desire of my heart.  To be a mother.  All those years of heartache.  All those years of crying out like Hannah.  Being jealous of Hannah.  That God answered her prayer but he wasn’t answering mine.  Then, in the blink of an eye my prayer was answered with the most beautiful, amazing, sweet little boy.  I couldn’t have written a better story.  God loves me so much.  I just needed to be patient and wait for his perfect timing.  He was molding me as I was waiting on him.  He was making the greatest story I could’ve ever come up with.

In my last post I announced the adoption of our son, Josiah.  He is almost 2 (time flies!).  I never blogged because I had no time with a newborn.  I was sleepy.  I think I was exhausted the whole first year, but boy did I enjoy it.

We are now on what seems like a very long journey to adopt our son Malachi.  He is 6.  When we adopted Josiah we found out a few days after Thanksgiving that it might be possible for us to be the parents of a baby boy that would be born soon.  We took him home from the hospital on February 7th.  It was so quick.  This is not the case with Malachi.  We started the process in February and we are still waiting for the many papers to work their way through all of the areas of international adoption.  

As I think about the upcoming adoption of Malachi I want to remember all that is in my heart.  The prayers, the hopes and the worries so I can look back one day and be reminded of all the blessings God has provided.  I want to see that God was right.  I shouldn’t worry.  I should rely on him.  His perfect timing.  His perfect will for Malachi and our family.

Questions in my heart…

  1. How will our China trip go?  Will we be able to communicate with him?  Lord, help him to not be scared of his new future.
  2. Will he sleep on the plane ride home and transition well to our time zone?
  3. How will I handle the medical procedures that his little body needs?
  4. Will I be strong enough?  Josiah was burned recently and it was so hard to see my child laying there and in pain.  😢
  5. Will he take his medication or will it be a daily battle?  
  6. Will he be scared in a new country with a new language?  
  7. Will the surgeries give him a long life with no additional surgeries?  Please Lord guide the doctors and please help our son to never need a heart transplant.
  8. Will he be able to run one day and not worry about his heart?
  9. Will we be able to communicate with him what is happening at doctors/hospital appointments?
  10. Will he learn English well?  Please Lord help me to teach him well.
  11. Will Josiah and him be best buddies?  Oh Lord please!
  12. Will he like American food or will I have to make him Chinese noodles every day?  🙂
  13. Will he ever know his birth parents?  I sure hope so.  Lord, please bless them for allowing us to be his parents.
  14. Will he sleep well once he is here?
  15. Will Josiah be terribly jealous or will he love having a new playmate?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:6-7

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