One Year Later – Thank you Lord!

9 May

Last year, on May 8th, I had a double mastectomy.  Last night, I read through a bunch of the posts from that time.  It is so amazing how much my mind has forgotten.  I’m so thankful that I can’t remember the pain that I was in or the nights of sleep that I went without.  The morning of the mastectomy I was all prepared to see what God had planned for me, but I remember once I was at the hospital I started to get scared.  I had to keep stopping to pray for strength and you know what?  God provided it.  I went through one of the most painful things that day too.  I had to get a shot put into both of my N’s.  It WAS HORRIBLE.  I cried.  The sweet nurse held my hand and God got me through it.  That pain was just the beginning of what God was going to show me over and over throughout the journey.  That He would be WITH me.

When I woke up from surgery I couldn’t really see myself, but I imagined I looked pretty bad.  I was a little horrified by the cute intern that stopped by to check on my post-surgery body, but it is a pretty funny story to remember now.  Then, on day 3 when I finally saw myself….I remember MANY weeks of Kevan trying to encourage me and tell me that this was just the transition.  That things would look better one day.  I had my doubts.  I cried so many times.  I had to pray a lot for strength.  I prayed that Kevan would still love me even if I was deformed or always looked like Frankenstein.  My N’s turned black, but you all prayed for me and GOD ANSWERED! He healed them and they work perfectly today.  🙂  Praise the Lord.

Bedtime was hard.  I couldn’t get myself up so I always had to wait for help and I do not like to ask for help.  But, this was God teaching me to depend on others and on Him.  Although, Kevan could’ve checked on me a little more frequent instead of leaving me on the couch for 3 hours knowing I couldn’t get myself up.  lol!  I even felt sorry for myself from time to time.

Kevan and I are so thankful for everyone’s prayers.  They are what sustained us and got us through it all.  We were talking about this today and how overwhelmed we felt by the love of so many and that we were so prayed for.  God blessed us so much throughout this time.  He not only showed me what a great nurse my husband was and how great a cheerleader he would be for me when I needed his encouragement, but also how he would stick with me even during the hard times (even when his wife was bald and even when she had no breasts).  I am so thankful for my husband.  I love you Kev!

Also, God didn’t just make me look “okay” after my breasts were removed, but He gave me great doctors and restored my body back to look even better than it did before (minus the scars, of course…but those will fade with time).   I am so thankful.

Remember, call out to God for comfort, for strength, for healing and for ALL your needs.  It doesn’t matter what you are going through.

Matthew 7:7-8 – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Jeremiah 17:14 – Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved,  for you are the one I praise.

Psalm: 55:22 – Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

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