Get Over It!

11 Feb

I had my 2 month check-up at the plastic surgeon on Friday.  Seems like it has been longer than 2 months since I had my reconstruction surgery on 12/5.  I’m doing so well!  My absolute favorite result (well, other than the obvious.  HaHa!) is that I CAN SLEEP ON MY STOMACH!  Every night when I flip over to go to sleep I get little tears in my eyes because it is such a wonderful blessing and it makes me emotional still to think about how much God has blessed me in my recovery.  I have missed sleeping comfortably.  It feels so good.  Also, I’m able to cuddle with my hubby again (I know, TMI!).  Anyway, back to the doctor.  lol!  He looked at everything and felt around (yes, this makes Kevan very uncomfortable to see another man touching his wife)…then he said, “looks great, my best work ever!  I’ll see you in 4 months.”  That’s it.  I’m so thankful that it has gone so well.

While I was there I met a woman that also went through chemo/cancer.  We talked a little while in the waiting room about our hair troubles.  It was a blessing to talk to her and to know that she is feeling the same way I am.  She also had blonde hair before and now hers is coming back brown (and gray) as well.
As most of you know that are close to me, I am still having some sadness getting used to my hair.  I know.  I know….I should be happy it is growing back.  I actually do get compliments on it regularly…which I didn’t even get when I had my normal hair.  I do think it looks okay.  I just don’t feel like me.  I don’t feel like Kev’s cute wife anymore.  I feel a little stuck in the 80’s.  After MANY MANY years of looking in the mirror at a woman who has long blonde hair….I still picture that in my head.  So, when I look in the mirror I am still shocked when I see a woman with short brown CURLY hair.  Kevan and I met my mother-in-law at the store today in Nashville.  Well, I told her I would meet her at the entrance.  She walked in and kept looking right past me.  I think she did it 3 times.  Then, she realized the tall brown haired girl was me.  I said, “Were you looking for a long haired blonde Jayde?” and she said “Yes.”  lol!  So, I’m not the only one that still forgets.

Anyway, while at that same store I saw a very pretty woman walk by me that was bald.  She was with her husband.  I went up to her and asked her if she was on chemo.  Again, I love talking to other women that have been through what I have so I wanted to chat with her.  Except that, the next thing she said was, “No, I have not gone through chemo.  I get approached by people like you all the time.  I was born this way and I cannot grow hair.”  She had no hair on her head, no eyebrows and no eyelashes.  She was so abrupt that I stepped back a little.  Then, instantly felt awful for her.  I told her I was sorry and that I totally understood why she went around without a wig, because they are so uncomfortable.  She didn’t say anything.  I wish I would’ve told her my first impression, but I am not a fast thinker.  I first thought how beautiful she was and how I couldn’t believe someone on chemo would look so good.  Because, while I was going through it I certainly didn’t want to go out shopping or put makeup on.  But, she looked great.  I guess that should’ve been my first inclination that she wasn’t going through chemo.  :o(  Oh well…I put my foot in my mouth.  I just said, “God bless you” and walked away.  I did pray for her on the way home tonight.  Here I am worried because my hair is growing back “different’ and she has NEVER had hair.  I think God was showing me that I should be thankful and happy….instead of sad about it….because there are woman out there that don’t have any.  Mine is just a phase….hers is a lifetime.  I am very sorry.  I need to GET OVER IT.  I need to continue to pray about it.  I am very thankful for the hair I have…I’m just being impatient…and I need to pray for contentment.  Here is a picture of us this past weekend while attending our church’s valentine’s banquet.  We had a blast.  We laughed so much our faces were hurting from smiling so much.

It has been a few weeks since I’ve updated my blog. I haven’t had time.  I am tired.  Very tired.  I wish I could sleep for a whole day.  Kevan and I have been really busy.  I’ve been teaching on Wednesday nights and it requires me to study about an hour each day to get ready for my lesson.  Also, work has been REALLY busy.  I love my job though…so its okay.  I just wish I had a few more work hours in a day so I could get more done.  Yesterday, I spent the day with a very sweet almost-6-year-old.  I had a lot of fun making cupcakes, doing a few crafts, going to see some farm animals, eating Mexican (her favorite) and watching a movie.  She wore me out.  lol!  I don’t know how parents do it.  I was exhausted by 6pm. 

Well….speaking of exhaustion….I’m going to go to bed.  Night! Night!

3 Responses to “Get Over It!”

  1. willie February 11, 2013 at 2:16 am #

    like it!

  2. Anonymous February 12, 2013 at 5:04 am #

    Jayde, you will be glad for your short hair this summer when you are out sweating in the sun in your vegetable garden! 🙂 Shorter hair is cooler than long – Judy

  3. Anonymous February 12, 2013 at 6:43 pm #

    Jayde, just think, as your hair grows, you will experience many “styles”. Having gone through all that, you will REALLY be able to decide what looks best on you because you will have seen it all. Most people just have to take a leap, make a change, and figure it will grow back/grow out, etc. if they don't like it. You will have many “sneak previews” and be totally informed when you finally decide on a style. Your picture looks great!!!


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