Archive | January, 2013

Oncologist: First 3-Month Check-up

23 Jan

Yesterday I had my first 3-month checkup with the oncologist.  In the past few months they have redesigned the whole office so it looked very different while we were there.  It felt like we were somewhere else.  Anyway, they took blood, weighed me and then led us to an exam room.  I only waited about 4 minutes before my doctor walked in.  He commented on my hair growth and I commented on how it isn’t growing fast enough.  lol!  Then, we brought up some issues.  First, I mentioned that I still have no period and how I am still having hot flashes, which still wake me up throughout the night.  Then, I asked him about some pain I’ve been having in my tailbone since my last chemo.  It hurts worse when I have to sit a lot (in the car, church, etc).  He seemed a little concerned about the tailbone pain so he ordered an x-ray.

Kevan and I went over to the imaging center right away and had the x-ray done.  I had to change into some hospital pants and then they led me to the x-ray room.  She took 2 pictures of me laying on my back and then 2 while I was on my side.  She said the doctor would have the results later that day.
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6-Weeks Post Reconstruction and a BIG Praise

19 Jan

I haven’t had much time to post lately.  I have a lot going on.  I’m back at work and takes up most of my time.  I was scared that it would be hard to get back in the “groove”, but it wasn’t hard at all.  Actually, I love my job so much (programming and designing reports) that sometimes I want to work into the night.  lol!  Kevan has to remind me to stop.  Also, I’m teaching a Wednesday night women’s bible study now on the book of Luke (the ministry of Christ) so I am doing quite a bit of preparation each day for that study.  I love researching and preparing for the study, but I still have a hard time with the actual leading of the study since I am an introvert and all eyes are on me.  I’m hoping that it will get better as time goes on.  It still scares me to death each week.

Arms/Chest Muscles
My body has healed very well since my surgery.  I am feeling great.  The only thing that has been bothering me are my arms and chest muscles.  For example, I cannot stir like I used to.  I used to make up batter (cookies, cakes, etc) and stir them…but now….those chest muscles hurt A LOT when I do that so now I have to lug out the stand mixer.  If I end up stirring manually I have muscles spasms the next day.  Also, the other day Kevan opened the kitchen window and when I went to shut it the muscle pain in my chest was awful.  It feels like something is tearing.  So, I’m going to talk to the doctor about exercises I need to be doing.  I also reached out to the personal trainer I used to go to in Orlando (Hi Rena!) and we might have some FaceTime sessions so I can learn some arm/chest/back exercises to help me.  I will let you know how that goes and if this pain gets better.  I pray it does!  Farm chores will be really hard in the spring/summer if I can’t get these muscles back to where they used to be. Continue reading

Please forgive me.

13 Jan

I received a comment on my last post that has really weighed heavily on me.  Kevan asked me to delete the comment so if you go back to read it, it’s not there.  Basically, the anonymous person feels like I am a very shallow person.  The truth is….I struggle a lot with this blog because I feel like sometimes “it is all about me” and even though that is what the URL is, “Jayde’s Journey”…I want it to be about Him, my Lord and Savior.  Not about me.  I also wanted it to be a place for others who are struggling with cancer to find hope and a few laughs here and there.  

The purpose of this blog from the very beginning was to document my journey through cancer and being sad about my current hair situation is what I am going through currently.  I can’t imagine that I am the only woman that has struggled with post chemo hair, but I also want to ask for forgiveness if it came across as shallow.  I was actually trying to look on the bright side and that is why I posted the pictures of my past hair.  I wanted to show that even though I’m struggling with liking the short post-chemo hair that it isn’t the worst it has ever been.  But, I guess my post came across as shallow.  I’m sorry.
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The Never Ending Bad Hair Day

11 Jan
So, lately, I’ve been feeling like I am having a never ending bad hair day.  I don’t know what to do with my hair.  It isn’t long enough to brush or style or highlight.  It is getting curly.  I am not happy about this.  I bought some gel and played around with it…..it didn’t work.  It just left me with hard hair that was gross.  I reached out to two people to see if they would dye it for me and I didn’t hear back….so I’m guessing that is a sign.  lol!  Truthfully, I’m getting a little depressed.  I miss my hair.  I don’t know why but I liked being bald more.  I know.  Weird.  I think it is because I had an excuse to wear a wig when I wanted to look nice and if I wanted to hide behind a head covering I could.  Here is the most recent pic of my hair.  It is a little longer than this…but I have no makeup on tonight so I’m going to use this one:

 

 

So, as I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself I started thinking about my hair before chemo.  Here is one of the last pictures I took before I started losing my hair.

 

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Is it over?

8 Jan

Friday I had my last drain removed.  It was great.  I hardly felt this one when he pulled it out because it was placed after surgery, in their office.  So, the end that was in my body was not as long as the normal ones.  The doctor said everything was healing great.  He even lifted my restrictions.  I’ve been able to clean my house and cook again.  It is wonderful.  I had a little helper this weekend (a friend that has been staying with us on the weekends) so she did help me clean some on Saturday.  But, I still over did it and my arms ached all night while I was trying to sleep and my breast muscles were spasm-ing.  Is that a word?  

Sunday morning and evening I even made a fire in the wood stove and carried a few little pieces of wood in the house.  Kevan doesn’t want me carrying the normal size yet so he brought in the big ones.  It felt so good to do some normal chores.  I can’t wait until I can help him split wood again.  It is a chore we like to do together and as weird as it sounds….its fun.  lol!
Even though my restrictions were lifted I’m only supposed to lift 10 pounds.  Then, next week it will go up to 15 and so on.    The best is that I’m allowed to take bath’s now.  I have missed my nightly baths.  :o)  Also, I can sleep on my side now and she said I could try stomach sleeping in a few days.   I am a stomach sleeper and I have not slept on my stomach since April.  You do not realize how happy this makes me.  I thought I might not ever be able to sleep on my stomach again, but he thinks I shouldn’t have a problem.  I can’t wait to try.  Brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. 

Kevan was talking about me yesterday and I heard him say, “You wouldn’t believe what a difference it makes for Jayde to have the drains out.  I can tell she feels better and she even looks better.”  lol!  Even Kevan sees a difference.  When I was talking to the nurse I told her how sad I was that so much of the swelling is gone.  I told her I feel like I lost a size since I went home from surgery.  She said that everyone says that.  lol!  I tried on a few of my cute dresses and tank tops.  I think I’ll be happy with the size.  Not too big….not too small.  Just perfect.  :o)

Also, I wanted to mention how much faster my incisions are healing.  I’m not sure why this is, but they are way more healed than they were after my last surgery.  I’m putting Aquafor on them twice a day and massaging it in.  The massaging helps the scars to not be so raised and helps them heal faster.  I did this last time too.  

As I sit and think about how there really isn’t much left now.  I’ve been through the double mastectomy, the rounds of chemo and the reconstruction.  It is over.  I’m healed.  Praise God.  He healed me.  He walked with me through it all and I love him so much for it.  I’m so thankful for Him, for my family, my friends, everyone’s prayers….and for cancer.  Without the cancer I wouldn’t know what it is like to have to depend on God daily.  To cry out to him when I’m scared or when I’m lying in the floor sick.  To talk to him all throughout the day.  Of course, we are supposed to depend on him daily already, but I wasn’t consistent.  Cancer showed me how much better it can be if we just lean on Him for everything.

I am also thankful that it is over and I’m on this side of it.  All I have left now are the check-up appointments every 3 months.  It is a weird feeling.  I’m so glad that I am starting the New Year out healed and ready to get back to normal.  This is going to be a great year.  2013!  And…..even though it is over…..I will rely on Him.  Daily.  I hope and pray I do.