Archive | October, 2012

"After" Picture

30 Oct

We went to see my plastic surgeon yesterday to discuss my surgery on December 5th.  For some reason they thought I had canceled my appointment so we had to wait a little longer to be “fit in”, but we were in/out within the hour.  Normally, they take me to a room and have me put on a paper vest (I hate them).  This time I got to put on a very nice white robe.  Very luxurious and way better than the paper disposable vest!  A nurse came it to “look” at the results of my previous surgery, fills, etc.  She said, “Wow, you are one of the lucky ones that actually looks good in tissue expanders!”  That was a huge compliment.  Who knows?  She may say that to everyone…I don’t know.  But, it sure made me feel good. 

The doctor came in about 30 minutes later and we talked over size, implants, etc….same things we discussed with my other plastic surgeon.  He talked to us a little about the 410 (gummy bear) implants that we’ve decided on and why they are still waiting to be FDA approved.  Then, he informed us that he invented the breast tissue expander.  [side note – I didn’t believe him when he said it in his office.  I researched it when we got to the car…he was telling the truth. He was the inventor.]  Now, I know that I have a love/hate relationship with these expanders (aka: rocks), but they are what made me pretty again.  They provided a way for me to be normal again.  How awesome is God that he sent me to the man that actually invented the best modern technology used today for breast reconstruction?  I am so blessed.  He is so good to me.  Seriously, I had no idea what doctor to go to and I ended up with the one that is the best in our area….maybe the country.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t believe it wasn’t an accident.  It was God ordained.

The doctor had the nurse take more pictures and then shortly after he came back in with my “after” picture.  Let’s just say….if I look as good as my projected after picture I will be a VERY happy woman.  LOL!  He said, “I need to add….exact results are not guaranteed”…as he doesn’t know what will happen once I get into surgery or if my body will reject the fat grafting.  But, I’m pretty excited and ready for my surgery!  lol!  God has been with me this far and He has exceeded my expectations throughout this whole journey.  Yes, the mastectomy was awful and the chemo treatments were hard….but it could’ve been so much worse.  I know He will be with me during this final surgery so I will be praying that I look like my after picture in the end.  🙂  I told Kevan we shouldn’t keep the picture since it is a naked picture and who knows who might end up seeing it if it’s laying around the house.  lol!  He was like…”No way…I’m keeping it to compare.”  lol!  He wants to see how close the doctor’s work looks like the picture in the end.  Funny!  No!  I won’t be scanning in and showing you all my projected after picture.  Sorry.  🙂  The doctor also felt my stomach, sides, etc and then patted my stomach a little and said, “we’ll take care of that too while we are in there”.  Um….excuse me?  Did you just call me fat?  lol!  I guess he did.  He’s used to nip and tucking everything…so he wants to rid me of my excess fat.  I’m all for it!  He has to use it for fat grafting so who am I to argue?  😉

One downside to the surgery is that he is not in my insurance network so we will have to pay 30% of the bill.  When you are talking about thousands of dollars…30% is a big chunk…especially when my husband is without a job.  😦 Yes, my hubby is job-less as of this Thursday.  Tomorrow is his last day.  I have a little anxiety over it because of the unknown….but I know in my heart that God will provide.  It is a little scary to think he might not get a job right away…but I just need to keep telling myself that God knows what are needs are. 

On another note, Kevan and I were in a church production (drama/play) over the weekend.  We had 3 performances.  We had VERY small parts in it and it was a lot of work having to rehearse, memorize lines, come up with costumes, etc……but we loved every minute of it.  It was a joy to spend so much time with our church family and also to see people respond to the “Night of Reality: Secret Sins” production.  We had many people make life changing decisions after the drama ended.  This was one reason we’ve been so busy.  I mention it only to say that we began being a part of this only a few weeks out from my last chemo.  I have felt so good that I was able to be a part of this.  Such a blessing!

Love you all….God bless every one of you!

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” – Matthew 6:25-27 

 

Hair Progress, Prayer and Fun

27 Oct

I know I have not been updating my blog as often lately.  I’m sorry.  It is mostly due to not having the time.  I have been sleeping better so I do not wake up so early anymore and I’m back at work so I just don’t have the time during the day.   We have been pretty busy at night lately so I just keep pushing it to the next day and you all know how that goes.  Kevan and I are really good at procrastination.  Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? 

I wanted to tell you a little about what is going on in our lives lately.  God has provided a new opportunity for Kevan and I to fully depend on Him.  Which we should do daily, but sometimes with the big things we want to rely on ourselves before we rely on Him.  For this…I’m choosing to rely on Him sooner than later!  Earlier this year it was my cancer and now it is Kevan’s job.  Kevan found out that his yearly contract will not be renewed (due to a lack of work this time of year) and his last day at work is this Wednesday.  He has spoken to several headhunters and has discussed several promising positions, but most of them are for 100% travel.  He has worked from home for the last 2 years and I have worked from home for the last 9 years.  It would be a huge adjustment to have him gone every day.   I know we’ve been spoiled, but God also knows how much this works for us.  So, I’m praying that God will provide Kevan a job that has 40% travel or less.  I think he would enjoy some travel, but it would be so hard on us if he was gone every week.  There are several reasons why we don’t love the idea of him traveling every week.  I will bore you with them…sorry…but I want to remember what was going on in my head during this time.  1). We live in a very rural area and the airport is about 1.5 hours from us.  2). We only have one car…so we would have to get another one.  3). He’s my best friend and I just don’t want him gone all the time.  I do love my alone time as I am an introvert and love to be alone to read…but I love being with him and it will feel strange to not have him here with me.  4).  My surgery in December.  If he takes a travel job around my surgery time then I will need someone to help me at home.  Also, we have a wood stove…I won’t be able to lift over 5 pounds for awhile…the house is going to get pretty cold if there is no fire in that stove.  5). Church – Kevan and I are very involved in our church.  If he travels throughout the week he can no longer teach on Wednesday nights or be involved in other weekly church activities.  This is huge for us since we love our church family so much.  Anyway….I am praying specifically because I know my Heavenly Father loves us and I know He can answer specific prayers.  Please Lord….please provide my sweet husband a job that is only 40% or less travel.  Please have it be a job he loves and enjoys waking up to each day (like I do my job).  Thank you for blessing us so much in our life together.  You are our Provider.  I ask these things in Jesus’ Name, knowing in my heart that you are able to provide them….Amen.

I was writing a friend the other day about someone she knew that was just diagnosed with breast cancer.  I wanted to give any help I could to make this journey easier for her, but the #1 thing I realized while writing that email to her was that the #1 thing that WILL get her through it and through any situation is prayer.  Seriously, without prayer I would not have made it or the journey would’ve been so much worse.  My prayers, your prayers and the prayers of Jesus, to the Father, on my behalf….all contributed to my journey.  Yes, Jesus intercedes for us while He is at the right hand of the Father (Romans 8:34, Hebrews 7:25).   I find so much comfort in that.  So, as I prayed for my cancer, I will pray for my husband.  I give this worry to my Father who I know can give us the desires of our hearts if we only delight in Him (Psalm 37:4).

Now, I will tell you a funny story.  I haven’t been wearing my wigs as much because the hair in the front that touches the wig band has not been coming in like the rest of my head.  I think, because it rubs and brushes the hair off.  Well, last night Kevan and I had to drive to Outback Steakhouse to retrieve my credit card that I left there 2 weeks ago.  Oops!  Anyway, while we were sitting in the bar (because the place was packed and I didn’t want to wait for a better table) I noticed that people would look at my head covering and then smile at me with this sympathetic smile.  Which, of course, is very sweet of them to realize I must be bald under that covering, figure I have cancer (which I don’t anymore PRAISE GOD!) and then feel bad for me.  Men even jump to open the door for me or offer me a seat if we are waiting for a table….which didn’t happen much before cancer.  Kevan and I were walking to the car after dinner and I said, “I wonder if that is how they would look at me if I walked around with my bald head instead of my head covering.”  We were on our way to a movie…so, Kevan suggested that when we go into the theater I should walk in with my bald head instead of the head covering and see how people react.  So, I did.  LOL!  (Keep in mind that it was FREEZING last night….my poor head was so cold!)  It was so funny to see the different reactions.  Of course, people did a double-take.  Kevan watched a pretty blonde girl look up at me and then when I passed her she continued to stare at me while I couldn’t see her.  LOL!  What I really noticed though was the smile so many gave me.  It wasn’t a sympathetic smile at all….it was a happy smile….which then….made me smile.  Now, they could’ve been laughing at me on the inside…I don’t know…but at least it wasn’t sympathetic.  Also, I was impressed with the girl at the popcorn counter because she called me “Miss”….I was so happy that she knew I was a woman!  lol!  Without hair I feel like I look like a man.  After the movie Kevan and I were talking about it and he believes that the happy vs. sympathetic smiles were because with the head covering on I look like I’m still going through cancer treatment, but because I have a little bit of hair now (VERY LITTLE) they can see that my hair is growing back so they are happy for me.  I don’t know if that is it, but I liked the happy smiles a lot more than the sympathetic sad ones.  If it wasn’t so cold out I might consider going around bald now.  lol!  It is definitely more fun! 

Before I show you some pictures I wanted to mention that my eyelashes are continuing to fall out and my eyebrows seem a lot thinner (you can tell in the two pictures below too).  I’ve noticed the eyelashes since I hardly have any on the bottom now when I go to do my mascara.  Maybe 10 total.  :o(  Hopefully, this will stop and they will start to grow back soon.

I’ve been wanting to update the blog with a hair growth picture, but I can never get Kevan to stop long enough to take a picture.  Here is a picture that he took of me on October 12th.

and here is what my hair looks like now (10/27).  Please please please!  No Sinead O’Connor comments.  I already have a tough time when I look in the mirror because I look like her….I don’t want everyone else telling me that too.  ;o)

It is funny looking at these pictures because I feel like I have so much more hair than this.  LOL!  You all are probably thinking how little hair I have after 2 months of being off chemo.  It sure feels like more.  :o)

Here is the back view.

Here is my side view right now (yes…I apparently have a mole on my head.  lol!  I didn’t know that before my baldness).  I HATE pictures of myself so I really hate posting these bad pics….but so  many have been asking me to update the blog on my hair progress…so here you go. 

 

Plastic Surgeon Update

21 Oct

Kevan and I met with my plastic surgeon on Tuesday.  It was her first day back from maternity leave/bed rest.  So, it was the first time I have seen her since my surgery on 5/8.   I am happy to finally have my final reconstruction surgery date.  My surgery will be December 5th.  This surgery is for my “exchange” of tissue expanders (aka “rocks”) to implants.  I am looking forward to my surgery, but at the same time I am dreading it a little.  I hate “going under” and I also hate waking up in pain.  I’ve been reading a lot online about the recovery and it sounds like the first 5 days are similar to the mastectomy surgery (can’t sleep flat, can’t get myself up by myself, pain meds around the clock, drains, etc).  But, after that most women are able to resume their normal schedule.  Except for lifting restrictions.  Of course, I will be posting about my experience so I can help other women know what they may experience if they have to go through it too.

Size
The PS looked at how well I’m doing and thought the tissue expanders looked great.  Her nurse, “L”, really did a great job while she was out.  We finally talked about “size” and “implant type”.  Kevan and I talked a little about what we were thinking size-wise.  Then, she talked to us about my frame-size and torso-size and what she recommended.  She said that if women small like me go too big the implant/breast will protrude out the side of the chest because my frame is so small.  She doesn’t recommend going too big because I will hate doing anything (farm chores, sports, etc) where I use arm movement because my arm will constantly be running into my implant/breast on the side.  I totally trust her opinion.  We are going to go a little bigger than what I had before cancer, but not too big.  I have never wanted to look like Dolly or wanted my chest to be noticed when I walk into a room.  So, I think that will be just fine.  I just want to feel girlie.  She said that they will bring several implants into the surgery of different sizes.  They will fit them into my chest “pockets” that have been formed by the tissue expanders, raise me up (while I’m under anesthesia), check to see how they fit and choose the best size for my frame…while keeping in mind what Kevan and I would like me to end up with.  I think that is fair.

Implants
We talked over the good/bad about each implant (silicone, saline, silicone/gel) in regards to my body.  She really likes the plain round silicone implants because they are easy to place and if they end up turning it doesn’t matter since they are round.  But, she feels this implant may “ripple” since I do not have much flesh left after the mastectomy and my skin is so thin.  If we did choose these they would try to fill as much of the area that may ripple with fat (from somewhere else on my body…think liposuction), but it may not hold (it can be rejected by the body).  So, it would require another surgery to try to inject the fat again.  Also, the plain silicone implant would sit up higher and be more round and more fake.  I want to look more natural and I don’t want to have to have an additional surgery due to rippling.  So, we decided on the 410 “Gummy Bear” silicone implants.  She said if she was me this is what she would choose.  It is less likely to ripple, it’s textured (to help it stay in place) and is shaped like a tear drop to look more natural.  Due to this my PS can’t do my surgery because they are still in clinical trials.  Her partner will be doing my surgery.  I meet with him on 10/29.  Also, with 410 implants, because they are gel they cannot leak into the body.

Fat injection/Liposuction
Before the surgery my surgeon will ask me what areas of my body I’m unhappy with due to excess fat.  This, is just one of the blessings of the surgery.  lol!  Then, with a blue pen the surgeon will circle different areas that I choose so that during surgery he can remove fat from those areas (liposuction) to use in the breast reconstruction.  I have to say…I’m a little excited about getting my excess fat removed.  lol!  I know it won’t all be removed, but hey….even a little is good…that is a few less crunches or lunges.  Right?  I also read that it is pretty painful so I’m not looking forward to that aspect of it. 

Reflection
When I think back to when I first saw myself after my bilateral mastectomy 5 months ago it is an awful memory.  I was flat chested and things turned black due to lack of blood flow.  Kevan was my cheerleader though and kept reassuring me that things were going to get better…that this wasn’t the final result.  I think God gave Kevan some special grace because I don’t know how he looked at me then and thought so positively.  Thank you Lord for him and for all your prayers during that time.  But, if you have to go through this…remember….there is hope!  Kevan was right….after each PS visit (and fill) I started to look more normal.  The bruising and black areas faded and now everything looks “normal”.  I have to say that if I had to look the way I do today and couldn’t have the surgery I would probably be pretty okay with the results.  I mean, I’ve had cancer.  I look pretty good and the technology they use today is pretty awesome.  I hate these tissue expanders, but they provided a huge purpose in how I look today and it was worth going through it.  If I had cancer 50 years ago I would look similar to that first day minus the bruising.  I wouldn’t have been able to save my N’s.  So, I am already blessed so much.  My PS told me that based on how I look today she thinks I will look really good when I come out of surgery.  The sunk-in places of flesh that are missing (where the oncological surgeon had to get clear margins) will be filled in my fat injection.  My scars will fade over time and hopefully it will be hard to tell what I’ve gone through.  God is so awesome.  He has walked with me through this whole journey and continues to bless me so much.

Fractured Rib
Funny/painful story.  I was laying in bed on Monday, 5 days ago ,and I decided to flip over on my side.  When, I did…I heard a POP.  Well, I think my tissue expander fractured my rib.  I have been in so much pain whenever I move or lift something.  I talked with the PS about it.  She thinks it might have been scar banding that popped and the nurse said it may have been a suture that tore where my expanders are sutured in.  In both cases it should’ve been better by today.  It’s not.  Which leads me to think it is a fractured rib.  I’ve been taking Advil for the pain, but it doesn’t help that much.  I wanted an x-ray, but the PS said there isn’t anything they can do for a fractured rib anyway.  So, I will just have to wait it out.

Nails
I had mentioned in previous chemo updates that I was keeping my nails short so that I didn’t lose any.  I had heard that a lot of women lose their nails or that they tore if they let them get long.  My nails made it through chemo great.  A couple weeks after the last chemo I let them start growing.  Then, about 1 weeks ago I woke up one morning and EVERY nail was ripped close to the skin.  So, please keep in mind if you go through chemo that it is still affecting my nails weeks after treatment.  I’m still having to keep them short.  The nail is just not strong enough yet.  So, I will be waiting another month or so before I try to grow them out again.  It would probably help to have polish on them…but I’m not crazy about nail polish.

Thanks again for reading my posts, for your prayers and thoughts.  I appreciate every one of you.  Even those I don’t even know are reading my blog. 

Answered Prayer!

10 Oct

Hi!  It’s me!  And…..I am sooooooo happy!!!  My doctor’s appointment yesterday went perfectly.  God is so good to me.  He is so good……period!  I clung to those verses I posted yesterday and knew that God would be there with me and He was!  I have been walking around with a smile on my face ever since we left the office and every time I think about how it all played out…I get tears in my eyes thinking about God’s goodness.

Let me give you a little background concerning the Tamoxifen issue.  I know I’ve mentioned before that I have researched it and have friends that are on it.  I’ve been very concerned about taking it because of its side effects and have prayed (and sorry to say, I’ve worried) about it a lot.  I just didn’t feel like it was worth 5 years of side effects when it will only reduce my recurrence by a very small percentage.  The percentage wasn’t high enough for me and I felt like I could rely on God and his percentage would be WAY higher.  Anyway, each time I was with the doctor (my MIL, parents and Kevan have all been there with me) he would talk to me about Tamoxifen and how I would need to take it for 2 years, take 2 years off to try to get pregnant, once I have a child (or not) I would go back on it for the remaining 3 years.  EVERY TIME I was there he discussed this treatment in some way.

Well, after much prayer by so many of you, me, my parents, my MIL and Kevan….God answered those prayers so perfectly.  My oncologist walked into the room yesterday and the first thing he mentioned was that he didn’t think I needed to do Tamoxifen.  It was amazing.  We didn’t even bring it up yet!  I have tears in my eyes right now just thinking about it.  I am sooooo incredibly happy.  I was dreading the conversation with the doctor, trying the medication, the side effects, etc and God removed this burden altogether.  I didn’t even have to have the conversation.  I had asked God in my prayers that it would be obvious to me what I needed to do.  The doctor’s abrupt change in treatment totally confirmed for me what I have been feeling the Holy Spirit tell me from the beginning.  Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if it was just me being stubborn and I was imagining God telling me not to take it.  So, it was great to walk out of the office yesterday FULLY knowing God’s answer to our prayers.  Thank you so much for your prayers for me.

Also, God didn’t just answer my prayer about the treatment….he blessed us even more.  The doctor told us that once my period returns (since I’ve been in menopause from the chemo it hasn’t returned yet) we can start trying to get pregnant right away!  He doesn’t think we need to wait a year and his nurse explained that sometimes when couples have problems getting pregnant (like we have) that chemo can sometimes knock your system into working and couples that couldn’t get pregnant before get pregnant right away.  I don’t know if this is what God has planned for us and I do not want to let myself think about it too much because I will be disappointed like I was for so many years before cancer.  But, it would be pretty awesome.  Really though….I’m open to whatever God has for me.  I would love nothing more than to be a mom and for Kevan to be a father, but I don’t know if that is in God’s plan.  I also wouldn’t care if I had my own baby, used a surrogate or adopted.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  Psalm 37:4

When I arrived in their office they took blood (ouch! but….they only had to stick me once!  YAY!).  My WBC counts were a little low (3.1), but RBC and platelets were good.  I also had a fever for some reason.  We also discussed some side effects I’m still having from chemo with the doctor and his nurse.  My arm is still burning sometimes from my last chemo (since it leaked out of the veins over time).  They said this would go away over time, but to keep my arm out of the sun.  My feet continue to burn on the bottom and especially hurt when I stand for a long period of time.  The nurse explained that this is neuropathy and it will go away as well, over time.  She suggested that I take Vitamin B6 as this has shown to help with the pain some.  We talked to him about my menopause side effects and he referred me to my “female” doctor.  So, I will be going to see her.  He said that it takes quite awhile for the symptoms from chemo to away and that by January 2013 I should be doing a lot better.  Also, I was told that I could NEVER take birth control pills/patch.  Nothing that has hormones (no estrogen/progesterone for menopause symptoms).  I wouldn’t want to take birth control anyway.  (FYI…if I had taken Tamoxifen we could not get pregnant while on this so we would’ve had to use some sort of birth control and it could not be anything that contained hormones – so another reason I am so glad that is not the treatment). He did say that I could use estrogen cream (I won’t go into detail here.  lol!)…as studies have shown that it does not get into the blood stream and is not systemic so it would be okay to use.  Also, in the end he said he didn’t think I needed any scans (no PET Scan…yay!) and that I wouldn’t need to come back until January.  PTL!  He said, I am CANCER FREE

It was a great day.  It is amazing to watch how God works in our lives.   If we just involve Him, pray to Him and ask Him…He will show up.  :o)  Oh, how I love Him so!

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love.  If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” – John 15:9

My joy is full.

Anxiousness and Faith

8 Oct

I’m anxious and I know the Lord tells us not to be anxious.  Sigh!  I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow and I have a lot of anxiety over it.  We are going to talk over my future treatment and discuss what types of scans will be performed to make sure my cancer has not returned.  I’m really not looking forward to the appointment.  I DO NOT want to take the recommended treatment, Tamoxafin.  I have researched it many times, cringed over the side effects and every time I come to the same conclusion.  I have prayed about it and every time I come to the same answer.  I don’t want it.  PLEASE pray for Kevan and I.  This is a difficult decision for us.  I wish (and pray) the doctor had the same conclusion.  Please pray for God to give the doctor wisdom as well.  I might be even more nervous about this than I was the chemo.  

Also, he wants to discuss “scans”.  I really hated going through the PET scan and it is not high up on my list of accurate tests since it showed a false positive of breast cancer in my left breast as well.  (After my mastectomy biopsies it was determined that I only had it on the right side…not both sides like the PET scan revealed).  So, I really don’t want to have PET scans as my periodic test.  I need pray regarding the scans too.

I’m also tired of the side effects I’m still experiencing from the chemo (mostly menopause symptoms).  I would really LOVE prayer for this.  Please beg God for me and ask him to take these symptoms away.  I know He can and God has answered so many of your prayers for me.  I am so thankful for everyone.

I am also SO thankful that I have a little bit of hair on my head now.  Kevan said today that it looks like I have a 5 o’clock shadow on my head.  :o)  I’m taking biotin to help it grow back a little faster.  I hope it’s working.

I will try to have faith that my Father is going to work everything out for good tomorrow.  I know He will….I will cling to the verses below.

“The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:4-7

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28 
 

Peach Fuzz

5 Oct

First, let me give you the great news!  I have peach fuzz on my head!  Yes…my hair is starting to show…just a little!  I am actually very excited and have shown quite a few people.  Most of them think I’m crazy because you can hardly see it, but I see it!  The only downside to hair growth is that it is also growing on my legs and underarms so I have had to start shaving again.  I guess the no-shave vacation is over.  lol!  I was going to post a close up picture of the hair on my head…but when I add the picture I cannot find a way for it not to look ridiculous…so let me play around with how I’m going to do it.  Then, I’ll post a picture. 

Some more good news is that the other night I woke up and realized I was on my STOMACH!  I have tried sleeping on my stomach many times and it is too much pressure on my tissue expanders, but somehow my mind knew that it would work.  I can maneuver a certain way now to be able to sleep pretty comfortable on my stomach, but after about an hour or so I do get achy and have to move to my back.  I am pretty happy about it though.  I had missed laying on my stomach and it feels so good….even if it is only for an hour.  :o) I’m guessing this will get better once I have my final exchange surgery. [I am 5 months post-op…can you believe it!  Seems a lot shorter me.]

Yesterday, was our 9th Wedding Anniversary.  I’m so glad that God brought us together.  I love my husband and know that he is the man God planned for me.  I am blessed that God healed me of breast cancer and I can spend many more years with my best friend.  Our wedding day was such a special day.  I can’t believe how young we look.  Here is a picture from our wedding.

Weight loss/Diet Update
I am currently down 7.5 pounds since I started my diet on 9/10.  I know I am losing slowly, but I didn’t want to put my body through too much right now.  I also started doing the treadmill 4-5 times a week.  My diet is going well.  I haven’t eaten at a fast food restaurant in 4 weeks except places like Qdoba, Chipotle Mexican Grill, etc…where I can get fresh food and not processed or fried foods.  I have not had any sugar or any type of dessert either.  I have had my Ezekiel bread apple muffins (made with freshly ground flour, my FIL’s eggs & apples and local honey)….which taste healthy and not dessert like.  I use use honey to sweeten my iced tea, breads or muffins.  I am pretty happy with how it is going and I feel good about eating healthier.  I did cheat once and had sushi (which has white rice), but it was so good I was okay with it.  lol! 

Kevan and I were in Orlando, FL last week and I typed this up on my iPhone while I was sitting on the beach so I thought I’d share:

The wind is a little cold so I decided to go lay in the sun to get warm.  I laid my beach towel down on the sand….got it just right and then laid down.  As soon as my body hit the sand I realized “OUCH”…this isn’t gonna work!  My very hard tissue expanders came into contact with the very hard sand.  I thought about lifting up my towel to dig a little ditch to fit my breasts into (LOL!), but I realized if anyone was watching me I would be very embarrassed.  LOL!  So, I tried to lay on my back, but it was no fun.  I went back to my chair.  I’m wearing a cute little fishing hat but it keeps getting so hot I take it off.  I am a little self-conscious here.  Not sure why.  It might be because so many women at the beach look cute in their suits and pretty hair and my husband has to look at his poor wife with her bald head and extra weight.  But, I am blessed that I can be out here in a two-piece bathing suit 5 months after a double mastectomy.  It is pretty amazing.

I went in the water for a bit with Kevan.  On our way back to our umbrella I noticed two pretty iridescent crows sitting on each of our chairs.  Well, one pooped on my shorts.  Lol!  They aren’t as pretty anymore.  This isn’t the first time I’ve been pooped on at the beach.   A seagull pooped on my arm last year.  I hear it is a sign of good luck, but I’m not sure. :o)  I think it means I need to spend more time at the mountains.

Here is a picture of me from the beach.

Soon I will write a post about the many things we did in Florida.   I’m stretched for time lately and haven’t had a chance to get the pics off my camera yet.