Humbled

30 Sep

Today is Sunday and I am up pretty early (5:30 am).  So, I thought it would be fitting to speak of how God has been working in my life since this is the Lord’s day.  I finished chemo treatment about 5 weeks ago.  I praise Him so much for getting me through my treatments.  It was really hard at times, but I can look back and see Him walking with me the whole way.  Since I finished treatment, so many people have been blessing me with their encouragement regarding my blog.  I’ve never written about the creation of this blog before, but when we first found out that I had breast cancer Kevan got up in front of our church and asked for prayer regarding this blog.  I wanted to give support and hope to those women out there going through the same struggles.  I have heard from a few women with breast cancer and that they were thankful for my blog.  I’ve also heard from others.  So, God has answered this prayer, but he has answered it in abundance. I am humbled to think that there are people out there reading my long and wordy posts.  It is so sweet.

In the last few weeks I have heard from so many people (men and women) regarding how much they love my blog and how it is an encouragement in their lives as well.  None of these people have breast cancer and many of them I didn’t even know were reading my blog.  How amazing is it that this little blog would have an impact on those not even walking the same journey.  That is how God works.  He is my Father and gives me so much more than I even ask for.  I am so blessed.

Thank you for your cards, texts, emails and spoken words of encouragement.  I received one of the sweetest cards I have ever received last week.  I keep it in my purse now as a reminder of those reading my blog and for encouragement.  I am overwhelmed again in this journey.  I have been overwhelmed so many times before, with all of your prayers for me, words of encouragement regarding my pain or treatment and now I am amazed again at your sweet words to me about this blog.  My prayer is that even though the journey is almost over (once I have my final surgery) it will continue to be a light to you.  That God will give me the words to say, not just for the women out there with breast cancer, but to those that may be suffering in another way.  

Kevan and I were out shopping on Friday and we ran into a friend at the store.  She mentioned how she really liked my blog and that it was so “humorous”.   Do you know what that meant to me?  That someone would think of my blog and not think about the sadness of cancer or the bad things that come with my journey….but the humor.  I loved it!  God has given me grace throughout this whole journey so that I could see the blessings and the humor throughout it.  It is not my own strength, but His that got me through it and is getting me through it. Of course, I had the bad days of feelings sorry for myself….but I am so grateful that they were few.

The night Kevan shaved my head I did start to get a little emotional.  I knew I was going to start to cry, but I prayed and God was there with me.  I didn’t cry a single tear and we laughed the whole time.  He wasn’t just there that night to give me strength when losing my hair, but He is still with me in my hair loss.  Even now I am okay with it and I know it is because He provides the strength.  On the day of my double mastectomy surgery I was in a basement room, alone and scared.  I was waiting on the nurse and doctor to come and give me a shot in both N’s to prepare for my lymph node biopsies.  I was on the verge of tears thinking about what was about to happen.  My life would be changed after this day and I was about to experience one of the most painful things I’ve ever felt.  I laid on the hospital bed and prayed that God would be with me.  I couldn’t do it alone and wouldn’t want to.  I needed Him.  Of course, He was there.  Once I prayed I felt so much better.  The sweet nurse held my hand during the procedure, my surgery came shortly after and I can hardly remember that day now.  I’m saying all this to say that it was the most pain I’ve ever been through and I can hardly remember it now.  It doesn’t matter if you are having surgery, going through a divorce, lost a loved one or suffering in another way…..pray and ask for His help.  Don’t try to do it alone.  Put your burden on Him and He will take it for you.  He also provided an army of others to be with me during this journey (my husband, my family and ALL OF YOU)…again, he answered my prayer in abundance…beyond my imagination.  The reason this blog has been an encouragement to others is because you all have been an encouragement to me.

I am humbled by all of you.  Thank you.  God is so good to me.

I thank my God every time I remember you.”  Philippians 1:3

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