I am in AWE (and an update)…

9 Apr
I have been so OVERWHELMED by everyone’s encouragement today.  I am in awe actually.  I have never really had a lot of friends and today I feel so blessed.  I have more friends than I ever imagined.  I just can’t even believe the love that has been poured out to me today.  You ALL are so special to me.  My heart is full!  I know it will sounds strange, but God is blessing me so much already through this cancer journey!  Every time I receive a message or a text I feel so joyful.  I’ve received at least 50 emails or texts today.  Can you believe that this little blog received 318 hits today?  That is 318 prayers (I hope) for Kevan and I!  Thank you everyone.  It is amazing!
I have my first update.  I’m sorry in advance if this is a little technical, but it might provide some insight to women that are going through this in the future.  I found out that my hormone receptor test came back E+/P- (estrogen positive/progesterone negative).  The estrogen positive result was only 20%.  From what I understand it is good that it is positive, but a little bad that it is only 20%.  I believe this helps the doctor decide if the cancer will respond to hormone therapy vs. other treatments.  When we were in his office he mentioned that if it was positive (and the BRCA test was also – still waiting to hear on this one) that we may need to consider having my ovaries removed.  If you know me and know about my fertility issues you will not be surprised that I broke down when he said this.  I shed only a few small tears when he said “cancer”, but when he mentioned my “ovaries” it was too much for me and they had to find me some Kleenex.  I’m sure that it has to do with the percentage so I have hope that 20% is good.  So, this is another prayer opportunity (please!).
I have an appointment with the plastic surgeon on Wednesday to discuss my reconstruction.  I will be having a bilateral (double) mastectomy followed by the reconstruction the same day.  I’m okay with our decision to have the bilateral mastectomy and I think it is what is best for my sanity.  I was able to talk to 2 other women that chose the same thing and they are very happy with the results.  It is strange that women joke about implants all the time because we are so unhappy with our bodies, but now that I am at this point and I am having to choose this as an option it is really hard to accept.  I now realize that I love the body that God gave me…imperfect as I think it is.  My husband does too.  So, I’m having a little bit of anxiety over this.  But, I know that God is with me and will guide the surgeon’s hands.  Please pray that Kevan and I will make the right decisions as there are many different options when it comes to reconstruction.  It is pretty stressful.  Also, pray that God will speak to us through the doctors so we know that the decisions they are making for my treatment and reconstruction are what God would have for me and that I will be happy (or content) with the results.
God is so good!
“…the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.”  James 5:15
I am waiting on the following tests that will help determine treatment (chemo/radiation/other):
BRCA (gene test)
HER2 (growth factor test)
OncoType DX (a test that can indicate whether a women has a higher percentage of reoccurrence)

16 Responses to “I am in AWE (and an update)…”

  1. Unknown April 10, 2012 at 12:02 am #

    Jayde….Bless Your Heart! MANY prayers coming your way as you go through this difficult time in the journey of life.Jayne Long

  2. Anonymous April 10, 2012 at 12:36 am #

    Love you Jayde. Speak healing to yourself – to that body. Jesus paid for it, it is yours. Teresa Myers

  3. Anonymous April 10, 2012 at 12:44 am #

    Jayde, you know you have my prayers and those of my friends who don't even know you but love you already. Thank you for being so specific! This is so YOU and part of what makes you so special. Kevan truly has a jewel – praying for both of you and the rest of your family!Norma Hampton

  4. Anonymous April 10, 2012 at 1:15 am #

    Baby, I just hate it that I can't put my arms around you, but I'll be there soon. You are so brave and have so much faith that God is showing his power and love through you. I know that this terrible thing can't be anything else but that, as I know how much you love Him and I know how much He loves you. He will give you the answers to all of your questions, and you will make the right decisions. Dear Lord, reach down and touch my baby girl, fill her with your power and love, give her peace, heal her Lord Jesus, You are the Healer, I don't believe it is your will for her to be sick, so heal her Lord, and we will give you all the praise and glory for all that you do. Thank you. In Jesus Name, Amen. Mama

  5. Anonymous April 10, 2012 at 1:28 am #

    Jayde, I have to tell you that as I read your blog out loud, to my mom, we both sat on the couch and cried. We cried as we felt how hard it must be for you to hear this news and how devastating it must be to have to deal with. But we then realized how STRONG of a woman you are and how STRONG of a bond you have with God. And our tears became smiles, knowing that if God put you through it, He will lead you through it. You are and amazing person and already an inspiration to many this early on in your journey. I have already prayed for you and will continue to do as that is what I know I can do for you right now, if nothing else. I wish you were closer so that I could visit, but please know that I am here for you and your family through this. Much love cousin…love, Sandi

  6. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 1:35 am #

    Thank you Jayne. I appreciate your prayers. Also, I think you and I are so cool because we spell our names with a "y". :o)

  7. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 1:36 am #

    Thank you Teresa. I love you too! Please keep me updated on any prayers that you have too since I haven't seen you as much lately.

  8. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 1:37 am #

    Thank you Norma. I appreciate your prayers for me and your friends prayers. You are very sweet.

  9. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 1:39 am #

    Mom,I love you so much and I cannot express how sweet it is of you to pray for me on here. It is nice to hear a prayer since I live so far away and we can't see each other. I wish I could put my arms around you too. It is hard to see you hurting for me and I know a hug and seeing me in person would help a lot. Just a week or two and we will be together. I know I will need to rely on you A LOT during my recovery. So, we will have a lot of time to be together soon. LOVE YOU TONS MAMA!!

  10. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 1:43 am #

    Sandi, your post has blessed me! You and your mom are so sweet. I wish you and I lived closer too. I have so many memories of us when we were kids. Special times! Especially taping songs on our little pastel radios using cassette tapes. lol! And of course playing card games. Thank you for your prayers and thank your mom for me too. I'm so glad God made you my family. :o) God bless you both. I love you!

  11. Julia April 10, 2012 at 3:05 am #

    Jayde, thanks so much for taking the time to share your journey with us! I've definitely been "thinking" of you since my mom told me. Thank you for your honesty in this trial and for your attitude of joy in the midst of it…I know that is a work of the Father in your heart and it's beautiful to see! Love you!! Thinking of you in Laos!

  12. Anonymous April 10, 2012 at 5:43 am #

    Hi jayde,You don't know me but I saw the link for this blog on facebook and wanted to read it and see how you are doing. I have alot of medical problems myself and can in a way understand what you are going through. You seem very strong and that is great. All we can do is ask God to help us through this and help guide the doctors as well. God and my family have gotten me through some really hard times and I know He will do that for you as well. I wish you all the best and will definitely say a prayer for you and your family. Hang in there. P.s. Altering reading this post I saw the word Her2 and I don't know if you ever saw the movie called "Living Proof" but it is the story of the doctor who founded Her2. The doctors name is Dr. Slamen and his part was played by Harry Connick Jr. It talked about how he found this and the cancer patients that were the first to use Her2. It's really great movie. You may like to watch it sometime. Again I wish you all the best and look forward to your updates on how you are progressing. Always remember GOD IS GREAT AND HE WON'T GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE:). Stay Strong and God Bless:)!Destiny

  13. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 9:28 am #

    Hi Julia! Thank you for posting and for thinking of me and praying for me. I love you Julia and we all miss you so much, but I know it is the Father's plan for you. I have loved reading your posts as well and Kevan & I "think" of you often. I really would've loved to visit you in Laos, but it will have to be through virtual travel. :o)

  14. Jayde April 10, 2012 at 9:30 am #

    Thank you for your comments Destiny and movie recommendation! I'm looking forward to watching it. I've added it to my Netflix queue. :o) Also, thank you for praying for me and my family.

  15. Amy Youngblood April 10, 2012 at 2:58 pm #

    Hi Jayde, I am friends with Kristin Ward on FB. I was diagnosed in November of 2010. Had bilat with lymphnodes removed. chemo for four months followed by rads. Treatments were done in July of 2011. I was 38 when diagnosed. I will turn 40 in a couple of weeks and this will be the best birthday I have ever celebrated! Hang in there, it will get better. I hope to keep following your blog, writing is good medicine. I had a caring bridge journal.xoxoxoxoxo Amy Youngblood

  16. Jayde April 11, 2012 at 9:27 am #

    Thank you for your message Amy and your encouraging testimony of healing! So many people have emailed me that they also went through this and came out cancer-free or know someone that has. It is really encouraging. The "c" word is so scary, but God is with me and will bring me through it. I have a great friend that went through this last year and she had a caring bridge journal too.

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